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(Don’t) count on 20/22

(Don’t) count on 20/22 published on No Comments on (Don’t) count on 20/22

I like being funny with my titles.

Per my last post, whenever it was, whatever I said — I don’t even remember and I could look back to see what I said, but I’m really tired (physically) to the nth degree and really, what changed? Nada, zippo, nothing.

If anything, it got worse, because that’s what the Universe likes from me.

But first, happy updates because I just realized putting these at the end is self-defeating, as most sane people would likely audi out once they get to half of my spiel below. I should have announced these when they, uh, actually happened, but I forgot. I’ve been forgetting a lot lately.

  • I was a moderator and panelist for the first Webcomic Library Con! Me and some of my fellow Aradia Collective folk created and paneled about Magical Girls in Webcomics. This was waaaaay back in August, but it’s only recently that they finally posted the video online. I created a source page for all the, well, sources I used in the vid. Check it out here.
  • I was a judge for this year’s Comic Strip World Championship, hosted by the Oulu Comics Center. If you remember, back in 2019, I was the resident artist for this same center along with Liminka School of Arts. It was one of the best experiences in recent memory I’ve ever had, and I was really glad to help this year when Sami approached me! The link goes to the main page which has the video with the results, but here is the video that launched the competition.
  • I created a newsletter back in June of this year and I JUST realized I never wrote about the above in it. Welp. Anyway, I already have one post in the archives. Been trying to see if I write a second one before the end of this year but I have no idea at this point.
  • I’m trying to see if next year, this site will be under a new CMS. Nothing solid yet, due to some stuff below, but we’ll see. Mainly I’m just tired of how this site looks on mobile. Why did we let Google decide that if you don’t have a mobile version, you’re never getting listed in the searches? Phooey to “mobile design first” ethic. Phooey, I say! DESKTOP 4lyfe

NOW FOR THE REST!

So. Chapter 4. Future chapters at this rate, I have no idea. I was working on it last year, thumbnailing chapter 5. Then we go into 2021 and suddenly it hit me: not some galaxy brain realization, but the feeling I had almost, what, 10 years ago where basically I just give up due to a lot of untested mood and brain thingies, and being general blasé about my work. Only this time, it comes on the heels of months-long discussion with myself and myself alone about whether I should just retire and call whatever comics career I had a complete failure because the future isn’t looking brighter for me lol

( “But NAAN, that’s what happens when you decide to make comics your full-time job and not your side gig!” Yeah, tell that to the job market for linguists or translators. Comics became my full-time because nothing else wanted me. Plan was always comics as a side gig…plans of looking into trade skills are on hold till Covid’s over because the organizer in my state refuses to read my emails begging for something remote and keeps copy/pasting the same “search in your area!” site. I’ll assume she read my last email responding politely not-pleasant, because I’ve stopped receiving the emails.)

This is compounded by health issues I had this year, that possibly could have attribute to all the above (or just A factor), that resulted in me having surgery just last week. IT’S NOT COVID, which is obvious by the surgery part. In fact, I came out negative in the screening, thank christ.

Anyway, the recovery will basically last until mid to last of December and it should be obvious but if it isn’t: I can’t draw in my current situation. In fact, I can’t do much except watch stuff for research lmao, and even then, I’m so tired (which I was prepared for!), I genuinely just lie in bed half the time. The other half, I have to eat and try to move to make sure I don’t atrophy. (I can finally sit without going “ow.”)

In general, my desire to keep working on this comic no matter what, as I used to mention often, has dwindled to a negative. And to be fair, the desire to work on the other comics I had planned to do within the next 5 years has also dwindled to a negative. (Not including my pitch. It’s hovering, though. ) I really don’t see it rising up again after recovery, but who knows? I certainly won’t belabor the same old excuse that has become part of my “brand” in comics, that of not much time to work on and forever being slow despite literally working faster than before, but that would entail someone who’s known me since 2006 to remember that part enough so I don’t repeat it ad nauseum.

The flip side, if you need it to not feel pity for current chump NAAN, is that I’ve found I can organize and guide people really well. Which, useful for the Aradia Collective, which I knew, and I can keep that going if/when I retire. But after managing a zine for Nurse Angel Ririka SOS, despite some mistakes I made, I was…decent? I’ve always been good at management stuff and research, so I suppose these two things weren’t too different. People like what I do for the Collective too, so…that’s surprising. Really. Usually people, when I’m handling things of this similar nature, don’t. They just think I’m too controlling or rude.

Heck, when I sometimes ask for help from these folks, I actually get it too. So strange.

So yeah, that’s what’s up with the future of this comic lol. I tried to invest in changes to see if I can improve on faster work methods (more than I already have) and none have panned out. Either way, I don’t have any qualms about 2022 being any better on this aspect. In fact, I’ll probably see some tragedy happen where all my pages burn up in an accidental fire or something, echoing last year’s almost-tragedy where my archival external HD refused to connect and I had lost all progress in my pages thus far. (I found a backup later, that I don’t remember backing up.)

That, or lose an arm, lmao.

Something the Universe will send as a victory lap, either way.

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